Thursday, March 8, 2012

A Personal Truth...

Hi, my name is Keri Rogers, and I'm a recovering Food Addict and Sugar-Aholic.  At 26 years old, I can admit to you that there were 5 years of my life that I secretly battled with food addictions particularly with sugar, eating disorders (both anorexia and bulimia nervosa), and I was able to overcome that.  It was not easy... but I've been on a healthy eating and living track since August of 2006.  I personally know the struggle, the highs and the lows, the negative health consequences (mentally, physically, and emotionally), that come from addictions to food and eating disorders.   I also know, the incredible healing that comes when you let go of food addiction and eating disorders.    

Now, as a dedicated practitioner of Yoga and Nutrition, I speak from a place of experience and recovery.  And yes, I'll admit I've fallen off the wagon a few times - I get back up and keep going each time.    I'm hosting a very personal Yoga and Nutrition workshop this month through Greenville Yoga.   It's topic is "The Sugar Blues and Foods to Boost Your Moods."  Please consider attending as I will be sharing a wealth of knowledge and experience to help others understand and obtain health.

March 10: 2-4pm with Greenville Yoga on Augusta Rd
Yoga & Nutrition Workshop:  The Sugar Blues and Foods to Boost your Moods $20

See below a note I wrote about my own personal truth... posted in November of 2008.  Since writing this note I've come to grips with the fact that before I was consumed with binging and purging eating disorder I experienced another eating disorder in which I starved myself for a year.  Here's to learning and healing:  

I am growing so much each day. Some days I wake up and feel that I see the world with clear eyes. I notice the good in the people around me, the health in my body and my intelligence as a human being and a student. I notice how receptive other people are to me and how much freedom I have to choose everything I experience. Other days, I wake up and my blinders are on - I am stuck in my head.

Lately I’ve come to grips with something very personal I experienced for 4 years of my life. I want to share it for two reasons: what I went through many others have or are experiencing and it may help them and because I think I need to share this truth for my own well being.

Beginning in my junior year of high school I entered into a place where I felt uncomfortable with who I was. I felt that I couldn’t control what was going on around me. I would wake up and think of an endless list of negative things about my body, my abilities, my clothes, etc.

I developed an eating disorder called Bulimia Nervosa in which I would binge on a wide range of foods and purge shortly after. In the process of falling into an eating disorder I also entered into a place of secrecy and isolation.

I felt that what I was experiencing was very unique and was ashamed and excited at the same time to be abusing myself in this way. I would binge eat in my room, hiding away for hours, and then feel guilty for days. My emotions would cycle all over the place and I allowed myself to become addicted to this behavior.

For the next four years I continued to actively participate in the disorder and hid my true nature from myself and the people closest to me. It was a vicious cycle, I ate to feel better but felt horrible afterwards. I felt guilty and ashamed and was unwilling to see that I was choosing this behavior.

A behavior I had the power to stop at any moment. I appeared to be very health conscious to all those around me, being very careful to stay in control of myself. I need to say, I ate food that did not belong to me and lied about this behavior when confronted because I was unwilling to accept that I had a serious problem. After four years of Bulimia nervosa I eventually crashed and the summer before my junior year of college I had a surgery that was unrelated to my eating disorder that took several months to recover from. I made a commitment to myself during my crash that when I returned to college, and moved into my one bedroom apartment that I had just signed the lease for - that I would let go of this disorder. When I made that commitment to myself I stuck by it, and I had made the commitment to stop bulimia many times before unsuccessfully.

I didn’t tell anyone about my disorder and let go of it on my own and have had healthy eating patterns for two years now. I am only recently realizing the seriousness of my eating disorder and all of the ways in which it affected me. I am thankful to have experienced this and have learned that I have the power to choose what is best for me and that opening myself to others was a big part of letting go of this secret life. Many close friends of mine and people I love very much may learn of this for the first time in this note… I want you to know that this behavior had nothing to do with you and because I have accepted this I can move on and open myself to you in ways that I couldn’t before.

I know that there are many of us daily with behaviors that limit us from opening ourselves to the people around us, to experiencing love, to achieving our goals and from seeing the good in each day. It seems so hard and inescapable at times but I want to say that each of us CAN grow in a positive way continuously throughout life. If something feels bad it is bad and you should consider how you can improve it. Life really is very simple, and we, as humans make it more complicated then it has to be.

The most important thing I learned from this experience is the power of believing in yourself and getting out of your own way to let healing begin.

Thank you for letting me share this with you.

Comments are welcome… 

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